Chapter 9: Temporary Goodbye

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is that true? I’ve never really been apart from friends or family for an extended period of time for me to find out the answer to that question. So when the time came for Brett and I to take a little break, I was excited to finally realize how I would feel when the time came to reunite. I honestly wasn’t ready for the roller coaster of emotions I would feel during our five week break.

It all started in October when he told me he was going back to Seattle for a week long vacation. The emotions immediately started then. I had gotten used to seeing and hanging out with him multiple times a week that I found it difficult to comprehend how I would handle not seeing him for an entire week. I was excited that he was finally going home. Seeing his giddy attitude, his eyes sparkle with excitement, and the way he simply lit up when I would bring up Seattle was enough to make me happy. Yet, on the inside, it was tearing me apart.

You see, I had a vacation planned the weekend he came back, so I was going to be gone for a few days upon his return. The week that I returned was a busy one with my internship and I wasn’t able to go in and see him. The following week, I had another trip planned that would keep me away for yet another weekend. It seemed like I was never going to see him again.

I went into the bar to visit him on a Thursday, ready for it to be the last time I saw him. I was tempted to invite some friends along, but I know that his interactions with me are different when I’m with people. I wanted our last night together to be spent alone. We did our usual joking around with each other, catching up, and laughing with one another. His demeanor seemed unusually upbeat and vibrant. I could tell he was ready to get out of the there and back home. I was closing my tab when he walked up.

“Heading out now?” he asked. “Yessir…I guess this is goodbye, huh?” I replied. “Dang…we aren’t going to see each other for like three weeks,” he pointed out in a fake crying voice. “I guess so,” I replied, trying to fight back the lump in my throat, “well, have fun in Seattle!” “Well hey! You should come by on Monday or Tuesday…I’ll be here,” he added. An invitation to come back? Was he not wanting to say goodbye either? “Sounds like a plan! I’ll see if I’m doing anything or not,” I told him. We said goodbye temporarily as I walked through the door.

That following Monday night, I finished up homework and watching tv, and went back in there to see him. “Hey!! You made it!,” was the greeting I received as I walked in. I didn’t want him to know that the sole reason I was there was to see him one last time. “Yeah, I’ve been busy with my internship and doing homework all day that I have a headache I need to drink away,” I told him. “Sounds like something I can help with!” he exclaimed.

That night was yet again another amazing night. He was in a great mood and that normally means our conversations are filled with back and forth jabs and sarcastic comments. “Are you excited for your trip?” I asked him at one point during the night. “Hell yeah! I’m going to be drunk the entire time! I’ll have to tell you about the parts I remember when I see you again,” he replied. “Ha…I don’t see Seattle being all that much fun, if you ask me,” I joked. “Pfft! As if Nashville seems like anymore fun,” he added. “Rude! Nashville is amazing!” was all I could reply. He gave me one of his famous smirks mixed with a smile…he knew he won that little exchange.

The end of the night arrived, and I was dreading it. I signed for my bill and could feel the return of the lump in my throat. “Well sir, you have a safe flight and a great trip!” I told him. “Yes! I’m so excited! You have fun in Nashville, too!” he replied. “Well, I’ll see ya when I see ya,” I told him as I began walking towards the door. I was the last one in there and he needed to lock the door so he followed me. “Have a good night,” he said as he reached for a handshake. I extended my hand, grabbed his, and he went in for one of those handshake/hug combos. I wanted so badly to just keep holding onto him. I didn’t want to let go, I didn’t want to say goodbye. I could feel the lump getting more and more difficult to swallow. “See ya later,” I said one last time as I walked to my car.

I drove home while on the verge of tears. I wasn’t expecting saying goodbye to be so hard. It felt like I was never going to see him again. That’s when I realized that I hadn’t prepared myself nearly enough for this moment. But how do you prepare yourself to say goodbye to someone you love? It’s impossible. Thankfully for Brett and I, this was only a temporary goodbye.